Today was a rough one emotionally. I casually nursed my baby before breakfast with Davin at my side happily watching Dora with his head on my shoulder knowing that tomorrow morning holds a much different scene for me. Instead of cuddling my sweet little girl while she feeds and occassionally even pauses to flash a smile back, I will become good friends with my medela pump 'n style as I scarf down a cold english muffin while reviewing 6 lesson plans worth of music to make sure I have every last measure memorized because if you watch notes and not kids they will destroy you. I also have my annual "start of school" bladder infection to look forward to because I always get one within the first 4 weeks of school because I don't have time to go to the bathroom enough, and when you are singing for 6 hours straight (and trying to keep up your milk supply on top of that) you must drink constantly. 5 minutes in between classes just isn't enough time to get one class out, prep materials for the next, and run down the hall to the bathroom :)
The bright side is I love what I do (the teaching part that is), and I have great friends at work. I also get home at a decent hour, and have a wonderful husband who cooks dinner for us. My kiddos are with my mom who loves them dang near as much as I do if not on par. I have summers and holidays at home with them. It is like the best of both worlds, and I am so blessed. I thank God for my very blessed life daily. For some reason you tell yourself all these things and it just doesn't stop your heart from breaking. I know once everyone adjust to the new routine it will all be alright. It just takes time. Time can be your best friend and your worse enemy.
The kids and I headed up to school to join the team and my long term sub, Florence Brown, for her farewell lunch. She was my maternity sub for both Davin and Claire. She is a terrific teacher and a terrific person, and I feel lucky that I got to know her. Best of luck to you, Florence. Thanks for everything!
Tomorrow a new chapter begins.......